Friday, June 27, 2014

Hi, I'm back just for a moment.

I have forget how often I used to blog, portraying every single piece of thoughts into words. Well, guess that passion just fades as time goes by or probably I don't enjoy blogging anymore. So why am I again then?

So, I've fulfilled my dreams after 4 years, flying to UK to complete my Degree in Accounting and Finance, though I'm yet to complete my ACCA after heading back to my home country. Yes, I am now at Sheffield, UK. I've always wanted to have that kind of experience, studying abroad.

I just talk to my mum few minutes ago, she told me that my brother wished to give up on his studies, give up on ACCA and FYI he is my elder brother (I'm the youngest in my family). It sort of broke my heart because my brother's highest qualification is just a Diploma in Accounting. He couldn't complete his Advanced Diploma and so he is currently pursuing for ACCA external exam only, but he did not want to continue because he said and thought he couldn't make it to the end. Its heart broken to see him being like that, what about his future? what can he do in the future? what about his family if ever wanted one? Life is getting tougher as the inflation continues to increase, and things are getting worse when the next recession is about to explode. Mum and dad were so worried about him since he couldn't graduate from Advanced Diploma, he didn't even have a degree on hand, and now he wants to stop his studies? I just want my mum to be happy, but worrying about him does not make my parents to be completely happy, I can tell some time in the future, they will turned back and regret everything.

Why does my mum has to face all these kind of unhappy stuffs? First she had to fought cancer, then she had to face with financial problems, now my brother's future. My dad wasn't any better. All these family stress have made an influence to me as well, since young I'm bearing all these kinds of stress until today, I tell myself everyday I do not have a second chance in my life, I am not allowed to let my parents down, I am not allowed to fail in my studies at least.

And now that I'm at UK, going to Cambridge tomorrow, but I don't think I'm going to fully enjoy it because Sunway University hasn't issue my deferment letter. Another mess that I could not solve. If I don't get the letter before the semester starts, my RM3,000 that I paid previously will vanish in the thin air. Sigh, and I am now worrying about my assignment here as well. I felt so helpless and useless that I couldn't settle my stuff. I really do not wish to gain any trouble for my mum, since she is already so busy with her own work, now she has to help me settle these stuffs. I feel so sorry for my mum, I need to graduate with a first class honour. I know I can do it and I will get a first class honour degree in accounting and finance.